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chicks, man!
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Ugh. So, this has been happening my whole life and I'm a chick. Recently, my best friend was out here visiting from the East Coast (I hadn't seen her in 9 months). She was busy with plans with family and other friends and trying to get together was tough. When she didn't commit to an invitation to come to our house for the afternoon, we made other plans. She called me the day of and said she could come (for only 3 hours vs. the day). I told her I made other plans because I didn't hear back from her for a few days. Now she's not speaking to me. She won't return phone calls, won't return emails. I profusely apologized about the disconnect and the fact that we didn't meet (even though I saw her for her birthday earlier in the week). I don't get it. Accept apology and move on. Stuff happens. Trying to coordinate four people's schedules is tough (us plus our husbands). How come guys can discuss and move on? or punch each other and forgive? This has been going on since grammar school with my girlfriends! Something silly will happen and I don't hear from them for six months or ever again! She was my maid of honor in my wedding is my closest friend. I don't know what to do at this point! (I hate being a girl sometimes!)
About this poster:
Posted by:
cstraw
(female, mid-30s)
(Posted 9/21/05)
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Responses (5)
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Anonymous
(9/22):
Dave: Say your peace and move on. Thats all you can do. How long has it been since last talking, a few days. Chances are she wants you to feel bad about what happened. But you have to remember that she wasn't given you much of an opportunity to see her to. I don't necessarily think it is a girl thing. I think it is a personality thing, a character thing. I think guys don't care as much because we have other things to invest our time in. Girls on the other hand invest alot of time in relationships. So it seems hurtful when it isn't right. Don't take it personal. Because if your friend is trying to hurt over something as pathetic as this situation, well you know how to finish that.
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jerry_sizzzler
(9/22):
Chicks: can't live with 'em . . . pass the beer nuts.
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JBcuz
(9/22):
I agree this is hard and happens way too often among women. If it were me, I'd treat her like an adult (like we, as woman forget to do so often), and tell her how you feel about her blowing you off for this reason, and how you can't stand the idea of it ruining your friendship. Write it in a letter if she refuses your call. If she scorns that or she still refuses to talk, then you have done all you can do to preserve her friendship. Then do the hardest thing possible for most women, don't take it personally, keep the lines open for future communication (if this friendship is still worth something to you) and hope that someday she can be as mature as you.
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cstraw
(9/22):
Thanks! I appreciate your advice.
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Rexfish
(11/16):
Yep. I must admit I have had female friends (not girlfriends, but buddies) who believe their time is more important than mine. I'm talking being stood up several times and people being late too. Moreover, women have the tendency to take this sort of thing personally, rather than just something that the other person had to do.
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