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Pity for Single Moms - Enough Already!
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I recently read an article in Parenting magazine about how single parents should explain their situation to their child. This got me thinking about the way that soooo many people have pity for single moms, and it really gives me the irrits. Not every single mom has a 'woe is me' sob-story to tell - in fact, most don't, and pity for single moms is something that many (and I'm not generalising when I say this) find incredibly patronising. Speaking from a personal perspective, leaving a destructive and financially/emotionally-abusive relationship was one of the bravest and most liberating decisions I've ever made, and if I had my time over I wouldn't hesitate to do things the exact same way. My life has become so much more enjoyable and less complicated since my son's father has been out of the picture. I no longer have to put up with him prioritising getting drunk with his friends over spending time with his son, foolishly spending money we didn't have and carrying on like an irresponsible child. All this outweighs the fact that I'm going it alone. I'm proud of the fact that I'm doing the best job I can to raise my son; fair enough, I've got a fantastic support network around me for whom I'm incredibly grateful, but I've still got plenty to be proud of. I don't want people to feel sorry for me, or for the fact that my ex-partner was a jerk, or for the fact that my son doesn't live with his father. These sorts of generalisations, and the pity for single moms that they generate, only emphasise the negative aspects of single-parenting. My son is happy and well-adjusted, and so am I. I wouldn't change my situation for the world.
About this poster:
Posted by:
feisty_leo
(female, 30-ish)
(Posted 12/6/07)
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