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HEWLETT-PACKARD, We Will Sue You To The Bone!!
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TO HEWLETT-PACKARD (AKA HP ), IT'S ASSIGNS AND VARIOUS HANGERS ON:............
Due to the current renovation of the gleaming offices my firm, Birnbaum Coleman & Turchynsky, inhabits I have been forced to conduct my business from my "mobile office" in the parking lot near the Rite-Aid. To this end I have recently purchased the HP Deskjet 450 mobile printer from your company which is said to deliver, and I quote, "high-performance printing anytime, anywhere." This statement is grossly untrue as a the noise of the printer alerted a night security guard who forced me to move said "mobile office" to another location. Unable to find parking, I was forced to wait until morning which greatly offset my tight schedule coasting my well-established firm countless dollars...........
Your false advertising, HP, is in direct violation of California's Business and Professions Code and we intend to sue unless we are provided compensation for your blunders, SIRS! Said compensation shall include, but not be limited to, (1) adequate office space in your building which we shall have access to 24 hours a day and seven (XII) days per week ( 24/7 ) until such time as we are able to inhibit our own; (2) an agreed upon amount of unused 3-hole punch white paper and adequate toner for the time specified; (4) six ( six ) packs bottles of imported ale, which shall be chilled to our liking, delivered to our aforementioned surrogate offices by noon each day for the duration of our stay; and (5) a comfortable sofa which shall, after manipulated easily by me, be converted into the form of a bed..........
The choice is yours, HP, submit to our whims at once or suffer our legal wrath!.......
Warmest personal regards,
Z. Birnbaum
About this poster:
I print daily, SIRS!! Provided the equipment is in proper working order!!!
Posted by:
Z_Birnbaum
(male, late-30s)
(Posted 10/7/05)
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Resource Links:
Free (relevant links only)
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Responses (1)
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Responses (1)
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Ballerina
(10/7):
Go for it, Mr. Birnbaum!!Mega gigantic corporations need to be held accountable. It's really too bad that people have to file lawsuits to save themselves from being run over but that seems to be life in America. If it makes you feel better, my household will not purchase ANY HP products becasue of their devotion to liberal causes.
(report)
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