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Chuck Norris
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Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could
chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME
IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his
girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't fuck with
Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this
statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of
the blast went deaf.
To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer, Chuck Norris smoked 15
cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and acquired 7 different kinds of
cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that,
Lance Armstrong.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the
information he wants.
Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of
"beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous
of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have
Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse
kick related deaths.
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
About this poster:
Posted by:
guinness
(male, 30-ish)
(Posted 1/5/06)
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Resource Links:
Free (relevant links only)
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Responses (2)
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DentilFlossTycoon
(1/11):
Were you inspired by Conan O'Brien's Chuck Norris lever? Hilarious.
(report)
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earlpimpdaddyjackson1
(3/7):
When Chuck Norris was on his Gulf Coast vacation last August, he was denied one last drink by the barmaid. Vowing to get his revenge, he unleashed his fury on poor, unsuspecting New Orleans--the fury now known as Hurricane Katrina!!!
-Sad but true-
(report)
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Responses (1)
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