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Break-Ups -- Advice please.
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Any advice on how to mend a completely crushed heart? It's been a few months and I still feel exactly like I did the day we broke-up, only slightly more functional. I've done everything I'm supposed to. I'm working out everyday, I've been focusing on my interests, spending time with my friends, been on plenty of dates with successful and beautiful people. Nothing is helping. I need some advice pronto!
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Posted by:
Anonymous
(Posted 5/14/07)
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Responses (2)
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conbhaill
(5/21):
Look upon this as a liberation and you will get over it the sooner. By all means grieve, but remeber the clock is on a one way journey and it will never turn back. You owe it to your self to make the very very bet of yourself.
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conbhaill
(5/21):
I can spell really, remember (remeber) I must remember to put my best (bet) glasses on when I type at the keyboard!!!!
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Responses (5)
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Anonymous
(5/18):
Nothing WILL help, except time.
But .."plenty of dates with successful and beautiful people.." sure makes you sound shallow. Maybe thats your problem.
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blwilliams39
(5/19):
Anonymous, sounds like you needed and were depending on the other person to complete you, which is a huge mistake when entering a relationship. When 2 people, who are already complete within themselves get together, the relationship is more likely to flourish and succeed. In the unlikelyhood of the relationship failing, you can still leave the relationship and still be complete. That void that you're experiencing now is the incompleteness in your own life. Do some soul searching and find out what it is that is missing now that the other person is gone and work on that for yourself.
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AngelEyes
(5/20):
I agree that time is the only thing which helps, but the rest of that comment was unnecessary imo!
When you love someone completely, breaking up is one of the most painful experiences we can go through ....... in many ways more painful than bereavement because often there is no closure.
You are recovering already, albeit slowly. You are "slightly more functional" which is an improvement in itself.
Doing "everything you are supposed to" is a way of bridging the gap between devastation and rebuilding your life. It won't happen overnight, and no 2 people are the same so one cannot make rules.
It will come when you are ready to move on, and in the meantime it seems to me that you are doing just fine.
It's OKAY to mourn what is lost, in fact it is the healthy thing to do.
Like any loss, it takes time to adjust. And so the full circle, back to time. Time heals. How much time is variable, it depends on the person, but in your case, it's working just fine :)
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Jimbo
(5/24):
Please remember that it is you who are creating your life. When other people seem to have the power to deal us fabulous happiness or abject misery, that is an illusion. Is it easy? Absolutely not! Is it possible to keep going and learn the most important lessons of your life? Yes it is. As others have said, Time will heal the wounds, but the lessons you learn about yourself and what it is you are creating, are more important than whether you spend a lifetime, or decades, or months, or hours, or no time at all with that one person you desire so much. Be aware that the choices you make in this moment determine what you will be experiencing in moments to come, so choose positive loving (and self-loving) thoughts and turn away from depressing, fearful, and negative ones. Best Wishes to you.
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Anonymous
(1/25):
its because you have been thinking that dating others will help you mend your broken heart. why don't you try focusing more on yourself, because he comes into your life, who are yoU? what do you do? youre happy then right? do not focus on" im doing this because i need to move on" think about this "im doing this because i have my own life to do and this has nothing to do with him"
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